Mama Nuggle

I thought I’d start by just laying it out there for you. I have a borderline obsessive / compulsive personality. I tend to throw myself into my latest passions with gusto. Although my addictions get replaced by new ones every so often, some remain constant. I thought I’d enlighten you with my Top 5 Addictions.

Addiction #5: I am a Sheetz whore. OK, so this one has earned me some crap from the people I work with. Much to the haters’ dismay, Sheetz has a cult following for those “in the know.” (I Love Sheetz so much that I *might* even turn tricks for a Sheetz gift card… I only take denominations of $50 and up, just so you know.) So, you’re asking “What is a Sheetz? And where can I buy a gift card?”

According to their website, the “definition of a Sheetz” is:

“… about providing kicked-up convenience while being more than just a convenience store. Sheetz is a mecca for people on the go. If you need to refuel your car or refresh your body, we have what you need to keep you moving on to whatever comes next.”

Basically, it is a chain of uber-popular gas stations that offer an espresso bar and brew every kind of flavored coffee under the sun. Their coffee is perfect for pairing with the Krispy Kreme donuts or enormous blueberry muffins that are delivered fresh daily. I know it sounds gross to eat at a gas station, but they have made to order (MTO) subs, salads, breakfast sandwiches, etc. that you can customize any way you like. Fresh and Cheap - what a yummy combination. Oh, and did I mention that their gas prices are usually the lowest in the area, rivaled only by Costco?

If you have been getting your daily java fix at a 7-11 run by people who don’t speak English, you NEED a Sheetz! Write your congressperson, your grandmother, your mayor, your HOA president (basically anyone you can think of) and demand one!

Addiction #4: I am a voracious reader, obsessed with cheesy romance novels and legal thrillers. Think Fern Michaels, Nora Roberts, Danielle Steel, Sophie Kinsella, John Grisham, and James Patterson. Over the years, I accumulated an enormous collection by these authors. Jeremy insists that Nora isn’t a real person (even though she lives just a few minutes away from us) because of her prolific writing. Jeremy swears she is able to pop out a new best-seller every few months only because she uses a “Mad Libs” style template and just changes the character’s names / descriptive phrases before sending it to print!

I used to purchase paperbacks before I realized I was throwing money away. (Well, not really throwing it away. At our garage sale, I sold all but maybe twenty of the hundreds of books I have accumulated over the years. Turns out many others have the same obsessions I do too. Who knew?)

In an effort to save some ca$h, I discovered our local public library. I make weekly trips, usually borrowing five books at a time. Normally all of the books are ready to be returned within a week or so. (What can I say? Even with three kids in the house, I can read a 400 page novel start to finish in one day. I am gifted with the ability to speed read. Kinda freakish, huh?)

Reading is one of my guilty pleasures, if for no other reason than I can multitask while indulging. Think nursing the baby playing with Ty, watching TV, talking on the phone, and eating, all with a a great novel propped in my lap.

That brings me to obsession #3: Celebrity tabloid magazines. US Weekly, Star, OK! magazine… it doesn’t really matter which one.  I pick up whichever tabloid has the most scandalous headlines or best paparazzi photos - “BRAD AND ANGIE RETREAT TO PARIS AWAITING TWINS’ BIRTH!” or “LINDSAY LOHAN BUSTED WITH COKE-AGAIN!” or “BEST AND WORST BEACH BODIES OF 2008!”

Standing in the checkout line, I get a vicarious thrill seeing celebrities dressed to the nines in those glossy pages. Although I know they are a $2.99 publicity stunt, I still delight in seeing overpaid stars traipse down a red carpet in the harsh light of day wearing outrageously expensive couture at some random multi-syllabic event. (Think Jessica Simpson at the Grey Goose Marc Jacobs iPhone Smashbox Cosmetics Sex on the Beach bash brought to you LIVE by E! entertainment.)

Somehow, it’s easier to feel OK about the crazy stuff that happens in my otherwise mundane existence when I  witness the train wreck known as Britney Spears. I certainly don’t feel bad for these stars’ (literal) overexposure. Celebrities, take note: if you normally have photographers camped outside your front door snapping photos as you get your morning newspaper dressed in only your cashmere bathrobe and skivvies, hasn’t it dawned on you yet that when you drive your Range Rover the wrong way up an exit ramp on the 405 after a night spent in a Vicodin and pot-filled haze (a la Nicole Ritchie), don’t you think that someone will be there to chronicle the event?

A-list Celebrities have bazillions of dollars and have chosen to work in an industry that thrives on media exposure. They can afford anything they want, yet don’t have enough common sense to wear panties or hire a driver to take them clubbing instead of getting busted for DUI. Anyone else feel the irony here?

Addiction #2 Sephora, the cosmetics shopping mecca. I threw this one on the list so you don’t think I am total redneck white trash. Really, I’m not. In fact, I am a bit spoiled. Despite being a mom who doesn’t make it out of her Juicy Couture-inspired sweats on some days, I’m all about pampering myself (if it is in the budget. Although, there is NOTHING BUDGET about Sephora.)

Back in the day, I traveled quite a bit for work. On one of those trips, I first stumbled upon Sephora (in where else but L.A.? Hollywood Blvd. to be precise.)

I needed a great way to kill a few hours before heading back to the Roosevelt Hotel’s infamous hot spot - a bar named Teddy’s - to toss back a few overpriced cocktails. I swear I heard a choir of angles sing as I opened the chrome doors which led me into this sleekly styled beauty addict’s paradise known as Sephora.

Imagine you have come across a luscious oasis in the middle of a parched desert. You take your first sip of the cool, clear water. Ahhhh! Instant refreshment. Well, that’s Sephora.

They carry every major brand of luxury cosmetics and fragrance. No CoverGirl or Maybelline here, no siree. Everything is available to try before buying. It’s like being able to take a free test drive of every make and model car by every manufacturer in the 2009 line on the same day. Except here the thrill comes in the form of lipsticks and blush.

Popular brands have chic, ironic, and fun names like HardCandy, Smashbox, Urban Decay, Nars, Stila, Dior, Philosophy, TooFaced, Benefit, and Bare Escentuals. The #1 best selling item nationwide is a realistic flush colored blush called “orgasm.” Need I say more?

To illustrate my obsession, here’s a true story: on a Christmas shopping trip in Manhattan, I introduced my mom and sister to Sephora. We got sidetracked by Urban Decay’s edible sparkling body powder. In flavors such as gingerbread and marshmallow and caramel and honey. We dusted. We licked. We looked like freaks standing in this beauty emporium, licking our own arms. My dad and my brother-in-law left us in the store, slightly repulsed yet oddly intrigued by the spectacle we were making. TWO HOURS LATER they came back, only to find that we were still not done. We walked out with about $150 of delicately packaged, gold-foil wrapped, edible body bronzer, complete with leopard print powder puff. which I can’t tell you what it was used for or I’d have to kill you. Suffice it to say that Jeremy doesn’t mind my trips to Sephora so much anymore.

Oh, and by the way, allow yourself at least 10 minutes at the register to purchase a Sephora gift card. Exquisitely presented like wooden Russian dolls, gift cards are tucked inside a free dual-mirrored compact embossed with the Sephora logo, which is then slid inside a black and white Sephora box, which is then nestled inside a black velvet Sephora drawstring pouch. The pouch is then placed in brightly colored tissue paper, and placed in a glossy Sephora bag. It is like Christmas morning all over again. And I accept them in any and all denominations!

And finally, Obsession #1 - no shock here - Wal-Mart! I could go on and on about why I am obsessed with Wal-Mart. But I will spare you the details, and just give you the highlight: it is one-stop shopping that appeals to my ability to multi-task.

QUICK! Can you name anyplace OTHER than Wal-Mart in which you can buy gas, a cell phone, a Subway sub, McDonald’s fries, all your groceries and still have your oil changed, nails done, check cashed, eyes examined, taxes filed, prescription filled, fishing license issued, passport photo taken, and digital photos developed? I didn’t think so.

Thus, Wal-Mart will always remain my #1 guilty pleasure.

What’s yours? Any place you can’t get enough of? Starbucks? The gym? Any products, brands or activities you are passionate about? Drop me a comment and let me know!

Laws of Parenting - Part 1